I know, I know...You're thinking, "Jeez, this guy's got a problem! Why can't he go get a job and leave Web solicitations for help to those with real problems, like terminal illness and people whose homes burned to the ground. And you're right! People in those situations DO need financial help if they have no other resources.

My situation is a bit different. After working there for a little over a year, I was laid off from a Chicago PR agency at the end of December 2000 due to their planned merger with a larger one. I was told the reason was due to staff redundancies. I had been looking discreetly for another position anyway for a few months before the news came, but it was still a surprise.

After the New Year, I continued my job search and had some interviews in PR, but not too many. I did qualify for unemployment and collected it for the six-month maximum. The benefits extensions you might have heard about were granted well after I exhausted mine. I did spend the period from July 2001 through June 2003 working at a couple of long-term temporary assignments (office clerical stuff). I maintained my job search in PR, looking in some related fields as well. Because I had already been in Chicago for a few years and was also in a long-term romantic relationship, I wasn't interested in relocating to another city or state. I also tried to get some freelance work in PR also, but it was pretty challenging, especially with the competition from others laid off during the recession, 9/11 impact, etc.

For about four or five weeks in August and September of 2003 I had a temp assignment working in the Chicago office of an investment banking firm filling in for the executive assistant of the CEO of Marketing while she had surgery. She (the assistant) had her good points, but a hell of a lot more personality defects, some of which I observed firsthand, and others provided to me by staff and other managers who worked with her. While she was out for the surgery and recovery (about two weeks), many of the people there came up to me and said they really enjoyed having me work there, that they found me to be easier to deal with than K (the assistant). The CEO, her boss, seemed pleased by my job performance also. She came back in late September and started to transition back into her job. I have a feeling some of her "allies" told her about her fellow employees' perceptions about me vs. her, because an end date that had been a bit open-ended as of a Thursday was officially made final the next day.

I got a call from the same temp agency a few days later saying that I was specifically requested by another employee of the investment banking firm to join her unit for a long-term indefinite clerical temp assignment. I accepted and started on a Monday. The job was on a different floor than I was on previously. The next day, I needed to drop some papers off near where I had worked before. After dropping them off, I went by to say hello to the people I had worked with and to let them know that I was back for a while. They were all happy to see me, etc. I saw K. and made a point of being polite and chatting with her for a couple of minutes. I went back to my floor and finished working. I also worked all day on Wednesday. That evening I had an urgent message from the temp agency on my cellphone. The rep I spoke with said that they (temp agency) were informed that they had received a call from the investment firm and that my assignment was to end immediately! I was stunned, and asked if they were told why (You KNOW they were!) this happened. I was informed that all they could tell me is that it was at management's request. I was assured that I definitely did nothing wrong, I was an employee in good standing, etc. That's a good thing, right? Then why have they have not offered me one single assignment since then (Oct. 2003)? I called every week for availability, have asked them point-blank as nicely as possible if there was more to this "firing" than they let on. I've been told that everything is fine, there simply isn't enough work, etc.

I did work in retail sales part-time over the Christmas holidays, but that ended in mid-January. Since then, I have registered with another temp agency in April, but the assignments to date have been only for two or three days at most, and for lower pay than I received at the other agency. My income dropped significantly since October but my usual bills (some shared with my partner, who was not too happy about dealing with an increased burden)and my other debts were still there. When faced with an unexpected overdraft (and fees related to it) I took out a cash advance on a credit card, knowing that the interest rate would be high, but I needed the money ASAP. The same company had always sent me "convenience checks" which I assumed were meant to be paid to merchants and other businesses if you wanted lower rates for those items. I looked at the fine print more closely and was surprised to learn that you could make it out to yourself and deposit it in your bank account. I was actually pretty annoyed when I saw that because when I had called the customer service rep for the credit card company to ask questions about the cash advance before doing it, she never suggested to me that the convenience check would give me a much lower rate.

I called the credit card bank and was approved for a $3000 check. I figured I would use a good portion of it to wipe out the cash advance debt ($1820 plus interest). After the $3000 cleared in my checking account, I called the credit card company and was told that I was going to need to pay my ENTIRE BALANCE in order to wipe out the exorbitant cash advance interest rate (My purchases were 9.9% fixed, the $3000 check was 5.9% fixed). Now the balance included the cash advance ($1820), the $3000 convenience check, plus balance on purchases. This came to about $6000 that was racking up a 19.99% interest rate! When I complained to the bank, they said that cash advances of any amount ALWAYS trigger the higher interest rate for the entire balance on the card, no exceptions! Even if I had a job, that rate had to disappear immediately! I had no choice but to try to find a credit card that offered a low interest rate for balance transfers. Because there was no way for me to know when I was going to find a job, I searched for a deal with the lowest fixed rate for balance transfers. I got one for 5.5% and immediately moved the entire balance of the other card over.

Complicating things further for me, I was hospitalized for two days in February due to a severe bacterial infection (similar to salonella). I've recovered since, and I do have health insurance (self-coverage) that my mother pays the premiums for. Even with the insurance, the bills are astronomical. With a job, they'd be manageable, but....

There is one bright spot in my life; I decided to start graduate school earlier this year. I'm enrolled in a part-time program for a Master's degree in Training & Development. Straight "A" student, which I'm very proud of considering all the rest of the (again insert choice of obscenity here) I've had to deal with these least few years. Because I am enrolled in one course each semester, I was able to get an educational loan, although it's not like the usual ones that you get by going through the Federal govt. Like other student loans, it won't have to be repaid until after I graduate (sometime in 2006), or if a certain period of time passes without registering for another class.

Back to my other reality (almost done, folks). I mentioned earlier that I've been in a long-term romantic relationship for 5 1/2 years. In part because of my troubles (and his stated belief I may never get back on my feet), and a lot of other changes the both of us have undergone, we decided a few months ago to separate. (It's a nicer way to describe what amounts to a permanent split.) It's amicable, and for the time being we're still living in the same apartment, but our lease is up Oct. 1. He has made two job changes since we've been together, one unexpected, but he has the gift of landing on his feet. He's already started to look at new apartments for himself.

I, on the other hand, have no clue where to go. The reason is that without a steady income from one or more sources (preferably one that is full-time and permanent in a job I like), I can't even begin to figure out what I can afford. Of course there's going to be a credit check by potential landlords (I used to have excellent credit!)and then there's moving expenses, even if I get a U-Haul and get some people to help. Someone suggested a furnished studio. OK, but then I'd have to get a storage unit and pay for that along with the furnished place.

Because I haven't had a steady income for a little over a year now (I'm not counting that fiasco in October), I've had to make choices I never would have made due to the possible pitfalls, such as using credit card convenience checks as income. Some people have developed credit card debt because they charged vacations, spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on Chirstmas presents, etc. Until last fall, I always avoided charging more than I could pay off each month. On those rare occasions where I couldn't, I'd look for other ways to avoid placing charges on it, and pay the balance over two or three payments. With a steady job (and, perhaps, your help too) I can determine what my monthly income is after taxes and then begin to try to rebuild my life, step by step.

Thanks for sticking with me this far, folks. I hope you decide to lend a hand. I'll be happy to send you a thank-you note (even handwritten if you prefer--not to many people know how to drag a pen across paper these days!) Also, they are big on "paying it forward" on this Web site. I don't have any idea yet how much I would put aside (my soon-to-be-ex-partner tithes 10% of his pre-tax salary every pay check), but I am a strong believer in karma, and I vow to return, in some form or another, all the kindness that may come to me through this process.

Member #JA8N5H4